New DRL and headlamp power relays. I can feel them click. Checked all fuses and they check out. Pulled, pushed, jiggled all the wiring. None of the loom is pinched from what I can see, but next step is to fully remove it all from the loom tomorrow to verify that. I’ve looked over the grounds more times than I can count. New multifunction headlamp switch. Socket contacts look fine, no corroding or burn marks. High beams work, fog likes work, parking lights are always on and behaving like the DRLs in that they automatically come on, you push the dome light button four times and they turn off, push it four times and they turn back on. But then they also behave like the turn signals, and they flash along with the turn bulbs (which stay constantly very dimly lit for some reason).
Something is screwy and I have no clue why