Reptiles?

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This guy is getting big quick!
 
This mother fucker got out, after my wife, myself and half the neighborhood spent 3 hours looking for him into the dark he spent the night in the pasture and I found him the next morning.
 

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Wife has a bearded dragon that was suppose to be a "school pet" (shes an 8th grade teacher). its like half and half a school pet and family pet now. Shes about 18-20" long tip to tip. Im dont really care for reptiles, just not my thing but dont mind being around them. Wife wants a snake though and im not having that in the house. If i let her, we'd have a fucking wildlife zoo at our place.

we are willed a desert tortise though. parents were given one about 20 years ago and she was about the size of a 1/2 dollar. when my parents go, she gets to come back to our place. may have to will her off to my kids lol
 
This mother fucker got out, after my wife, myself and half the neighborhood spent 3 hours looking for him into the dark he spent the night in the pasture and I found him the next morning.
Welcome to my life. We got home last weekend to a hole starting in the dog house, under the fence, through the metal stakes and no tortoise. We'll likely have to wait until spring for her to show up again.
 
Wife wants a snake though and im not having that in the house. If i let her, we'd have a fucking wildlife zoo at our place.
pussyfuck. easiest pets to take care of (technically not kinda since you dont have to do shit with them). theyre cool as fuck to sit on the couch or somewhere with. and once a month you get to feed them other animals. its sick as fuck. youre a pussyfuck that likes dick, just like me.
 
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Nice King Snake. I had a couple I found in my yard last year as well as a gopher snake and red racer. Growing up we had 2 black/yellow king snakes as pets. Than when i was around 11 we got a larger brown/tan king snake. Theyre cool pets but don't do anything so not for me. But as a kid was cool to hold them and see they move around.
 
We have 14 side blotch and western fence lizards currently. They are sustained on a diet of baby crickets and the occasional pincer bug that strays into the kitchen.

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thats too funny. i dont know much about tortious but it didn't both him being in a high-traffic area? i would of assumed he needed to be in a dark closet.

he would bounce back between the sides of the door. first time he was on the hinge side it was a surprise when the door wouldnt open all the way. poor guy got smashed a few times by the kids, but after a few times they realized to be careful. i would assume its a temperature thing. vacuuming didnt seem to bother him either.

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