Phoenix to Laughlin 500


Well-known member
Apr 1, 2022
Didnt even dawn on me to move my trip reports over here as well. Thanks for starting this idea, @Turboyota


Good afternoon my Sedi bros and bro-etts!

Over the last 4 years, ive been attempting to make a trip happen that would start in NW phoenix AZ, hit Laughlin, then turn around and head back to phx using as much dirt as i could find/put together. Ive fucking changed routes so many god damn times over the years due to prerunning and finding shitty roads via google maps or running into issues with rain and washed out roads or just covid fucking shit up. ive added up the miles and have 984 miles in just prerunning this damn trip. Why must you ask? because fuck you, thats why.... but ill tell you anyhow. I had originally planned this trip to be a day trip there, spend a day getting fucked up in Laughlin and then a day drip back. I said fuck that, gunna split this into 4 days now and see more country.

So months back, i got a group of my az dudes together and hit up Turdblow to see what select few would like to par-take in this fucking epic adventure. initially started with 18 vehicles going but as time approached, my crew was down to me plus 2 others (rest were fucking faggots) and turdblows was down to 6 including his gay ass self. @dose, @Turboyota with co dog TunerAndrew, @Do Dah and his girl Shannon, WTK (white trash kyle) and his girl Steph, Dustin and his co dog Will, @Motiracer38, my buddy @Midget_Nate with his co dog Corey, Jarrett in a Canned Ham by himself and myself in my shit box Retard TT. All trucks/suv's with 2 golf carts (nate and jarrett).

The cali boys planned to drive to my place, camp and head to laughlin where they would then split and head to the Mojave trail on saturday and hit home. Brian (motiracer38) was the only hardcore troubadour cali boy that would make the full loop from phx to laughlin and back with us. Turdblow will jump in with his mojave trail report once we cross that point.


The crew started to roll in around 7:30pm that night. Turdblow, Dose, Do Dah all made it without much issue. Seemed 70mph on I10 was not fast enough for the boys because truckers passed them left and right, so 75 it was. fucking desert trucks cant go that fast on the highway! wreckless mother fuckers. Beer started flowing when they hit my drive including some tequila shots from Dose. Everyone setup camp in the back yard around 10 pm after Brian showed up with his rig on the trailer. Ryan learned how to fucking say Sawhuaro (you fucking gringo), not fucking saGuaro and WTK gave a call that his ass end was hotter than partybarge after an arguement with his GF. He had a fairly fresh 9" third in the diff and we "hoped" it was just breaking in. clearly not the way to do it but little fucking late now! he turned around, went into quartzite, dropped fluid, properly disposed of said fluid as it returned to its fellow dinos below the earths crust, spent way too much on gear oil, filled it up and made it to my place by 3:00am. thats fucking boss! He could not tell if it was whining due to truck noise but kept an eye on it the rest of the trip.


8:00am was the designated leave time. That shit didnt happen.... lmao.


pic courtesy of Turdblow

We got up and movin around 7:00am and got everyone rollin up and out of there by 8:45. WTK and dustin werent even the hold up with a 3am arrival. Dose may have been catching up on some missing sleep... may have been a hang over... could have been a melatonin induced coma.... not sure but 0 fucks given as we had 4 days to do this shit. Hit the gas station outside my house and headed on route. Head up by lake pleasant, down to castle hot springs and into the washes towards Wickenburg. first stop was in the washes after nates golf cart was overheating. Was this the first beer of the day? fuck no! a few were cracked at my place prior to Dose's awakening.


Pic courtesy of Turdblow

Not sure what the issue was but liquid liberations were consumed as we let it cool. Finished our route into Wickenburg and stopped off in the Hassayampa river waiting on Jbrapp (jarrett). that little squirrly mother fucker has an itchy right foot and keeps that canned ham fucking flying down the roads 90% of the time. he stopped for fuel though, a down side to just fucking sending it everywhere.


Pic courtesy of Turdblow

Turdblow just fucking happy as can be.


Once Jbrappp caught back up, we motored on. Smashing fucking river water and hearing about how a fucking trophy truck had wipers but a toyota or two did not. Finally got up on the route to congress and we had another couple beers as a few guys missed a turn.


Pic courtesy of Turdblow. TunerAndrew looking majestic as fuck!

Sadly, this day is fucking SHIT for pictures. i think we were all massivly stoked to be slamming desert miles, hanging out with new cocks, and hitting the liquid liberations. We made it to Congress for the first major fill up around 12:00 am. Goal was to hit Hualapi mountains for camping that night but that seemed like a pretty distant goal. Again, 0 fucks given, we will camp anywhere along this route without issue. We left there and made our way towards alamo lake. little side road i had mapped was tight and full of washouts. Nate was behind me in the 4 seat canned ham and WTK "trophy truck" behind him. that Mother fucker was on nates ass like fucking flies on a horse ass! He may have been exponential widening the trail in doing so but he had a blast fucking doing it!! nate called on the radio "James, you need to fucking pick up the pace, im about to get bump passed by this god damn trophy truck!" wasnt much i could do though. limited front end travel and fucked up deep wash outs prety much limited my ass.

By this point, we hit hwy 93. We had to cross here and hit a dirt road to Alamo lake. i fucking BOOGIED down this road. averaged 65mph till i didnt. there was a wash out i didnt catch and well... didnt quite clear it when i launched off the lip. front bottomed HARD into the up side of it and proceeded to sky wheelie, bounce, bounce again and then settle down. gave the wheel a shake, looked out the window, looked in the mirror for broke parts flying off and all looked good. Fuck it, back up to 65 i go! then we came to the point where the road widens, becomes butter smooth and is about 10 miles long with slow rollers you may or may not catch air off of (i swear those fuckers use to be bigger, i think they cut them down due to lack of site over them). i bumped the speed up to 75-80 and carried on. only 2 rollers let me catch minimal air but i hear could on the radio some fuckers puttin the passes on! Brian passed Rouse at about 100 and i saw WTK coming up fast in my mirror. The last mile, him and i drove side by side at about 80-85 before having to slow for some turns. Fucking shit was bad ass! As we came to the lake, i fucked up and make a wrong turn, WTK almost got stuck but got everyone turned around and on the right trail. we pulled off for some more shit talking and "how fucking bad ass was that shit" while i assesed my damamged. looked like i only slightly tweaked my strut and jammed my camber adjustment back. fuck yeah, new valving saved the day there!





Pics courtesy of Turdblow

Did a quick camber adjustment and we headed onward. found a route through some shitty brush and silt that totally fucked up WTK and Dose's beautiful paint jobs. i mean just took them from show stopper, panty droppers and made them fucking mexico beach bashers. sad deal really. But such is herpies from vegas... We got around the lake and ran up the trail i had marked when we ran into a road block. Some dude put up a shitty fucking gate held up with rocks and claimed it was some sanctuary. Of course, the fucking astute high class top tier gentleman we are, we never even CONSIDERED going through said gate. But Jbrappp ran back down the trail a bit and found another way around. i fucking missed the road and decided to try this steep ass hill climb. got all fucking wadded up in a tree. 10 min later, i got my shitbox out after some maneuvering, got on the right road and we carried on.



Fuck turdblow, these are my photos
I had no damn clue i changed the route on myself at this point but wound up on this bad ass graded dirt road for fucking miles. Like, we laid down some damn miles here over the course of an hour i think? Just windy enough to hang the ass end out and just enough g-outs to touch bumps at speed. we were cookin around 50-60mph. Finally came to a big 4 way cross point and had everyone gather back up. it was 4:00pm at this point and still a good 50-60 miles to the mountains i planned to stay at BUT we went 180 miles so far without out really doing much in the way of truck/gold cart issue. I called it there and decided to stay in a wash just 100 yards up the road. We fucking motored that day as i was trying to keep a damn good pace. That turbo under the hood really made it nice for speed through washes and dirt roads! Nate eventually figured out that a big fucking light bar right in front of the radiator causes golf carts to overheat when going over 50mph and once that thing came off, he was golden. as he said "600 bucks never looked so good behind the front seat on the floor board" lmao. WTK never had diff temp issues and said he never did hear the bitch start whining... same with the rear end on the truck.


Pic courtesy of Turdblow

We pulled off into a wash and i may have gotten a little hot footed and started playing "race car" up the wash for about a mile. took me a sec to realize it and we turned back around for a camp site for the night.


Pic courtesy of Nate

Food was cooked, beers started flowing and just as the sun goes down, turdblow says "boys, im hammering this 32oz natty light and then hitting the sack, im fucking tired". to which i reply "i recall a fucking german telling me that all does to him is amp him up more, i dont believe you". sure as fuck, he was up for another 1.5 hours before deciding that having a fucking RTT was an absolute waste and a 7 dollar walmart chair was a better option to sleep in


an astute viewer will notice things on the birthday boy. first, it was a game of pebble throwing to see if we could make it in his mouth. then, stack beer cans on him. this then followed up with playing Jenga with tree branches and then a group photo



Of course, the next option HAD to be a sharpie but holy fuck did that spark a "discussion" about how a milwalkie marks all or whatever the fuck its called is the best god damn thing out there and sharpies are shit and blah blah blah, then that lead into how ford 7.3s and 6.0s are shit and dumb ass nate couldnt keep his stories straight about how shitty they are when WTK and Dustin just fuckin hammered back lmao.... Jbrappp and i quickly tired of this and decided the aluminum 16oz coors lattes i was drinking made for pretty sweet "fire poppers". 2 went in and didnt do much but the last one that got throwin in had been stewing on the fire for a while. i said "Jbrappp, that fucker is gunna fucking blow". he says "na, they dont do much" and instantly after that, that cock sucker went off like a liberals head when trump was elected. Fucking fire went everywhere and burned Stephs leggings to her ass. she had to jump up and show us lmao! course jbrappp and i are over there just fucking giggling like school girls.

wasnt too long after this, we all hit the sack drunk as fuck (least most of us).

Little did i know, this was a shitty spot. Jbrapp called up that if we go a 1/2 mile more to where he is, there is a hell of a view. So we hopped back in and headed up there for liquid liberations





Pics courtesy of i dont fucking know who. miget nate, dodah, turdblow

Took it all in for a bit (and more refreshments), then headed down the mountain. it was full of gayzer chop but surprisingly, thats the only chop we've hit so far. we motor down and as im winding through a wash, all of a sudden, 2 big fucking boulders pop out around a corner. i lock them up and skid to a stop just kissing one of them. fuck me, that was close. i missed another turn (common theme for me) so we get back on track and make it to bull head... but not before a jump is found in an abandoned subdivision thats all dirt. watching Motiracer and WTK launch their shit off that jump was mesmorizing. Just miles of travel dropping out and landing on big natural tittie cusions for shocks. I think Dustin in the fronco has video. they then found some "step downs" as each lot was squared off down the hill. after about 15 min of that, we hit laughlin and parked on top of the parking garage



We proceeded to have celebratory beers atop the garage before going to check in, get our rooms and fucking shower. Fuuuuuuuck yeeeeeessssss. We made it there by 4:30pm and Steph setup dinner reservations at the Prime Rib Room for Turdblows b-day. After washing all the stank off, i met up with midget nate, corey and jbrapp to head down and have a few more drinks. Met Turdblow, Dose, WTK on the way down and hit bar. 5 mother fucking 75 per beer, you had to keep your fucking face mask on while SITTING at the bar and the talent in there was well... laughlin talent. We all had overly expensive beers and said fuck this, lets head back to the parking garage. WTK got done loosing at craps and we headed that way. We proceeded to smash drinks while Corey decided to see what the deal was about "no laws when drinking white claws". We hoofed it down to the Prime rib Room at 7:30 (8:00 reservation) and got to it. we all loaded the shit out of our plates and chowed down.



motiracer being being fancy as fuck


after that wine was gone, he proceeded to fill it with Jameson to bring himself back down to our white trash level.

That food hit the fucking spot but when all you have had is uncrustables, couple hot dogs (you take that as you will, if you considered it sexual, i hope you have a raging hard on), some chips and beer, is gunna be fucking bomb.

we walked our happy asses back to the parking garage to continue drinking BUT not without first stopping at the terribles station to grab some walking beers. Turdblow of course grabs 2 fosters but is so excited by the cheap price at the counter, he has the gal hold his order, runs back and grabs 2 more lmao! i settled for a 24oz Coor heavy myself. On the garage, Corey has just about slammed all the claws. Steph has now realized that her gaydar is going off hardcore. If yall dont know, women have a pretty fucking good gaydar to spot out queers. So of course, WTK has to just fucking LAY into him about that and even Shannon took some jabs! At one point, i was just fucking crying from laughing so hard! god damn that shit was fucking hilarious! Best part is, everyone took it in stride and just had a great fucking time. I think i took off back to the room around 11:30, not sure as i was pretty smashed and tired. We had planned to leave Saturday morning around 8:00am to start our treck back to phx and i wasnt staying up till dawn.


Here is where the group splits. Ill give our side and Turdblow will give his side.

Woke up around 6:30am not feelin too bad surprisingly but had a serious case of AIDS (alcohol induced drippy shits). Met up with midget nate, jbrapp, and corey down at the cafe for breakfast around 7 so we could be on the road around 8. Corey asked at breakfast if he needed to appoligize to everyone for acting retarded while being hammered. I said "na fucker, the amount of shit talking everyone gave you FAR exceeded your retardedness".

headed out to the rigs, loaded up and met motiracer in the In-n-Out parking lot. did a quick run down on our rigs and we headed out! the shittiest part about the whole day was the few miles of fucking gayzer chop back up out of laughlin. fuuuuuck me that shit suuuucked! it was way worse going up hill in it and far more squared edge. beat the piss out of our shitboxes. We came to the first big hill out of there and it was steep as fuck. i crawled it but had a feeling Brian wouldnt make it. he gave it a shot and make it 3/4 of the way up. i planned to just throw a line on him and drag him up but Nate and Jbrapp found another way that worked out much better. We headed on down, back into the washes everyone got lost in and motored through easily. heading down the wash let me lunch off the washouts and was far more fun lol. We re-grouped just before the Pride fuel station and assessed our fuel situation. i had 1/8 of a tank left and both canned hams were "empty" for the last few miles down the wash. they were curious if they would make it to the Pride without running out. Jbrapp made it, midget nate ran out 1/2 mile away lmao! he threw his spare fuel in and met us there.

Grabbed fuel, ice, beer, and i started looking for a banging i was hearing. Come to find out, the last washout that caused my sky wheelie punched my body mount through the frame mount a good 3/8 of an inch. NICE! told the boys id just keep an eye on it and if it got worse, we'd just weld it up. nice knowing have a welder on board for me or anyone else. we jumped back on the long graded dirt road and cruised about 65-70. it was mainly up hill and fighting a heck of a head wind. i didnt feel like running full boost for the next hour and possibly hurting something so help back on speed.

At the end of this road at the T we had all stopped at thursday night, we turned here and headed east instead of continuing down the road south. i had a different route planned for the way back that took us through some really scenic shit and up into the pines. We cruised along till we hit the 93 once again and directly corssed it. followed this road up into the hills toward bagdad (mining town in AZ). Between the Pride fuel station and here, we had no stops and i was getting a bit parched. pulled off to enjoy some views, hear WTK's donkey start talking, and refesh our selves



it was around 11:30-12:00 at this point. We continued on but not for long before someone ran out of talent. Jbrapp was leading the way at his usual pace when he crested a steep hill that had a hell of a sharp 90* turn on the other side. The road is pea gravel type stuff and we are running roads that are generally cliff edged. Well he locked them up and held it straight instead of trying to come into the turn sideways. he figured if he was going off the edge, might as well try to drive it. he slowed enough that when he hit the 18" dirt berm, a rock caught the left front and stopped him. In doing so, it bent his lower control arm at the factory bend. It aint his first rodeo on doing this so he keeps a patch kit for them. You cant just take the lower arm off a canned ham by unbolting it. you have to take the whole fucking front end apart to do it. brillant design.



tried whaling on it with a hammer, didnt move much. took me putting my front end of the tracker against his tire, putting the winch behind the bend and winching it. When it was mostly pulled out, a vise grip went infront of the winch hook to hold it in place. worked like a charm once we figured it out. Then threw on his brace kit


there is a bracket behind the brace not shown to support the bottom. would have been nicer to have two of those but only had the one.

took about an hour to fix and we were back on our way. near the end of this road is a super twisty pea gravel road. its a fucking awesome rally road. i was drifting my way around like fucking ken block when i then ran out of talent. hit one corner in a slide and came into the next too hot. tried getting the ass end to come back around and was 1/2 way there when it slammed the berm and put me up on 2 wheels. wasnt "shits gunna flip" 2 wheels but enough to put the seat in my ass! last mile was where we hit a bit of highway back up to bagdad and jbrapp was stopped. i got out and found a little bit of rock in my bead. fuck it, it aint flat, lets carry on. Fueled up in bagdad and then hit camp wood rd towards chino valley. you head up even higher into the pines and then drop back down into chino valley (tops out at 6k ft, chino is about 5k ft). Passed Yolo ranch HA, and then got stuck behind a dickhead hunter in a new chevy. i wasnt riding his ass but i was close enough to let him know i was there and pull over. he wasnt having it. stayed infront of me for 4-5 miles and what really pissed me off was when he punched it on a long straight to try to loose me. Fuck you mother fucker, i dropped a gear and stayed with him. i was now darting around looking for an area to pass cause i was PISSED. he pulled over just enough at one point i fucking got with it and made sure to do a nice little power slide right at brand new chevy. Fuck you faggot!

pretty unevenful from there. hit chino valley and had to hit some small two lane asphault around some large ranches before back on dirt. Came down into skull valley and then hit our turn to take us up into the mountains again to camp for the night. Sadly, i totally forgot it was saturday night with teh sun damn near down and on a road that overlanders just LOVE (didnt know the last part till midget nate told me). we dorve up and down the road looking for a camp spot (designated camp spots only) and were just about to give up and head back down when i ran across a good one. pulled in and we setup camp. Nate parked right by a freshly dead javalina (havalina, turdblow... lmao). he cut that bitch up and cooked it for dinner for us all

yeah right, fuck that shit. them stinky fuckers aint worth that. Jbrapp and i hucked that sum bitch down into a ravine. Jbrapp started cutting up wood and we cooked ourselves up some dinner (without javalina meat). bullshitted till about 11:00 and then hit the sack.


We did 260 fucking miles that day. someone went through and graded most of these roads so we could keep up a good pace. in the year or 2 before this, i ran these same roads and they were pretty rough so i found that pretty interesting. certainly aint bitching about it. Motiracer thinks AZ is just all graded dirt roads at this point. im not far behind him in that thinking lmao. We still had about 70 miles left of our trip for sunday but im glad we took this long route back. its just so damn pretty back in those areas and hardly anyone around till you get by Prescott/chino valley. Body mount had not really changed so didnt even bother fucking with that.

and because Dose screwed up and made an honest post one time

dose said:
That was a steep hill, I'm surprised you tried going back that way.
I must say I am impressed with the 4 door samurai. The pace you set was twice as fast as I expected. I couldn't keep up. Im not sure if its your prep, shock tuning, no fucks given, driving skillz or all of the above but the Geo was straight getting it. Don't underestimate how capable this soccer van is like I did.
This is where Turbo and the rest of the cali crew chime in on their trip back


Cali Contingent trip report: Laughlin to Gnarstow

With zero communication the night before, we all arrived in the parking lot around 8AM +/- a few minutes. Do Dah had found a turbo gasket for me & purchased an exhaust gasket for his 4Runner. I solicited WhiteTrashKyles’s services, and he went and picked up my new turbo gasket while TunerAndrew and I started ripping the turbo off. (Kyle’s help was two-fold: we could get to turning bolts, and we wouldn’t have to work on a fucking scalding hot turbo). Upon removal of the intake tube, we were fucking appalled at the massive amount of silt mixed with valve cover breather oil in the intake tube. AEM dry flow & prefilter air filtration technology should be called fucking “Silt Flow”! Shit was caked with dirt! I used my entire can of brake clean and half of Dose’s cleaning that fucking tube out.



With the Turbo gasket replaced and everything buttoned back up by 9:45AM, we headed over to bullhead for McDonald’s breakfast, Ice, Beer and Fuel.


After the cornucopia of delicious McDonalds enjoyed on the hood of the Turboyota, we headed to Bullhead Fastrip where Premium unleaded was only $3.06, but the Fastrip refrigerator condenser was out, so we all bought warm beer and lots of ice. My truck dies in the street in front of fastrip because Andrew kicked the fuse box and some nice folks jumped out of their truck and helped us push the truck into a parking lot. It was like a legit southern baja pit crew!

We all followed Dustyn in the Fronco out of Bullhead and he skipped the twisty rally powerline rd that heads east out of Laughlin (Green & Yellow trails), and when we hit the Avi casino we pulled off because it was obvious he missed the Mojave trail turnoff. No big deal, we consulted the satellite imagery available at our fingertips and jumped on the Mojave trail heading west (fluorescent pink). It was a long, straight uphill pull with drainage jumps every quarter mile. What a fucking blast! I missed a turn per usual, found the correct trail, Dusty chastised us for shitty radio etiquette and not marking corners, and we continued smashing westward into California and across the 95.

We skipped Fort Piute and headed up the rocky climb section. There were some jeepers at the top filming their sick rock crawling with a drone, but they pulled over and let us pass. Shortly after passing them, TunerAndrew and I agreed that the exhaust was sounding different, so we better retorque the turbo bolts. Loose again—motherfucker! Bottoned that shit up, pissed, grabbed some now ice-cold beers from the 80’s Coleman icechest and chased down the jeeps as we headed toward Lanfair rd. I skipped the cool rutted Joshua tree section in favor of the faster graded Cedar Canyon rd just south of Old Government rd.
We also skipped Camp Rock Spring and hauled ass toward Kelso Cima rd and the railroad tracks. I came around a rally corner sideways at 70mph and scared the fuck out of some poor bastards in a SUV, and when I called out the oncoming traffic, someone on Weatherman asked us to change channels because they were having a race. Absolutely. So we switched to checkers.

Post piss waiting for everyone at kelsoCima:

I let WhiteTrashKyle lead through the 11 mile uneven whoop section between KelsoCima rd and the Mojave Rd Mailbox. Some overlanders in stock SUVs videoed us as we smashed through. Kyle was going 50-55MPH, and the two times I looked at the GPS during the whoop section I was going 42mph with my whopping 6” of laden rear uptravel—still pretty fast and fun, though. We stopped halfway through the whoops so Kyle could tighten the jam nuts on his upper links (I told you to tack weld those, you fucker!!). The stock-suspended gas can-adorned overlanders slowly inched past and gave us the thumbs up—“sweet suspensions on those rigs, wow you guys were going fast!!” (…or something to that effect).




Hi there, DoDah and Shannan!

Shortly after that stop, I scared the shit outta myself in the big rollers before the mailbox. I went into some of them a little too spicy and kicked the ass end sideways whilst in the air. I stared at the ground through the windshield while I was airborne and had time to mash the gas so that when I landed the truck straightened out. Whew!!! You couldn’t have pounded a needle into my asshole with a sledgehammer! Pucker factor 10/10. Turns out, Kyle had said something unintelligible on the radio seconds before I slammed those rollers. As a matter of fact, he was warning me, but I couldn’t understand him, so I stayed in it…

We passed the stockish overlanders again at the mailbox. And no, we didn’t stop at the mailbox. The next cool sight that we skipped was the Lava tubes. Next time, bitches! We all enjoyed the FUCK out of the wash section between the Lava tube turnoff and Kelbaker Rd. At this point, we came up on a massive group (15+ vehicles) of Landcruisers and other overland dorkle-adorned rigs who were not pulling over, so we tried to go around through the wash that’s just west of Kelbaker rd. After a couple minutes of us playing fuckaround next to them, everyone pulled over and let us blast past. Thanks guys! Obviously they had comms, which was nice. We held a steady pace of 60+ from Kelbaker to the travelers monument—a big pile of fucking rocks—in the middle of the salty dry lake bed south of Baker.

Kyle being a rock donkey on Travelers monument:


We had a couple beers, then split as the overland crew started trickling in. the first people that arrived had old school Landcruisers and were super cool. They had spent 3 days doing the trail up to that point and were flabbergasted that we had done 99 miles and had only left Laughlin 3.5 hours earlier!

In the sand wash heading into Afton Canyon I blew off a boost tube.

Andrew turning bolts as the hood is off for the 69th time that day…


There was a lot of this view for me this trip. Sigh.

Cali Contingent continued…

After reattaching the boost fitting, we regrouped after people got separated in a wash—a definite theme this trip. We rolled into Afton Canyon and took the obligatory under-trestle pics.




Someone graffitied over the “2015 Small Dick Raptor Run Mojave Rd”

But it’s still there in all it’s glory.

Water crossing was longer and deeper and wetter(that’s what she said) than it has been in the past.

Yes drinking! Dusty brings added rustic beauty to the already majestic Afton Canyon.


Whitetrashkyle went first—shit was at least 2 feet deep and up to his doors.

I made it through no problem, but water came into the cab a little bit through the back firewall vent holes.

Fuckin’ hard parked waiting for Dose, Dodah and Dustyn.

Dodah made it look easy.

Dusty put his shit in 4 low and climbed out on the hood like a fucking BOSS! He had to climb back in and adjust the steering wheel once. It
was a total fucking pimp move!!!



And then the fucker gasses it to make a wave and try to splash WTK and Andrew who were standing at water’s edge! Hahaha




We watched some motorcycles and quads get absolutely soaked and run into the fence while waiting for Dustyn to play fuck around with the Fronco fuel pump.

He made it across the water, but the truck sounded unhappy.


Chugging up the hill painstakingly slowly…

Crossing the water & Fronco fuel pump replacement took 1.5 hours. Beers were enjoyed and chill was experienced while Dustyn, WTKyle and TunerAndrew installed my WalBRO fuel pump into the Fronco.

That reminds me—I need to get James a fuel pump to replace the Airtex I borrowed before we realized that my truck had a wiring issue and not a fuel pump problem on day 2. In retrospect, we should have wired the fuel pump into my ChinaPROS switch panel. Then the pump could have been switched, relayed, and fused. Duh!


I said hey fuckface, not gay duckface!!


TunerAndrew supervising Dustyn’s trail fix. This was Andrew’s first trip like this and he had an absolute fucking blast!

He said “Man Ryan, I had no idea how fun this would be or how involved I’d get in fixing peoples trucks”

Look over here, faggots!

Stanced. I think this was like a 7 beer stop. Gooooooood fucking times!

Right around 6PM we rolled off into the sunset toward Barstow to visit homies at the Cleandezert event.

Got some delectable in-n-out

Then made an appearance at the clean up and bummed some incredibly delicious food from @DWPhoto and @stevyboy . Thanks boys!

@Do Dah
@ucd baja
@Ryan Jubera


Also saw:
@JESSEA and got a ride in his awesome @only1mikey built TTB jeep

Saw @marcytech , but he was busy driving his truck and stuff, so I didn’t get to say hello.

Met MetalMunky and chatted for a bit.

There are probably others that I forgot… sorry bitches!

Me, Whitetrashkyle, and Dustyn made it home to Yucaipa around 11:30PM Saturday night.


For @84projectford :
Good showing on the amount of water/beer in my trunk this trip. A good 1/2” this time!


Here is what kept happening to my turbo gaskets. Fucking shitty mechanic and fabwork has to be the culprit!!

Replaced the turbo bolts with studs & stovers, and bought a 6-ply MLS turbo gasket from GrimmSpeed. I sanded the turbo flange flat on the disc sander before reinstalling the turbo.


I have a slow-leaking stick in the sidewall from the taking-the-wrong-line-in-the-wash incident of day 2. Probably got it in the same place that Dusty popped his tire. Fuck that wash.

Throttle cable got cooked by the turbo and was sticking almost the entire trip.

Thermostat stuck open in Laughlin. I replace those fucking pieces of shit every fucking trip it seems!

Total miles: 952
MPG highway: 15~ish from Yucaipa to Ehrenberg

Dirt MPG: unknown. I’d guess 10-12mpg
Beers: holy fuck. They were flowing!
Tools used: too many

Times I burned myself on the exhaust:
Zero! That’s a first…
And the last bit from the AZ boys route

SUNDAY 11/7:

at 6k ft, it was a bit nippily that night. Down in the 40's from what Midget Nate said. i slept good either way. Got out of my tent around 6:45, took a nature hike and watched the sun rise over the mountain while taking a shit. I dont think the hikers appreciated me shitting in the middle of the trail, mainly due to seeing the disgust on their faces as i dropped logs but meh..... Alright, the latter didnt happen.... maybe?

we packed out shit up after some bull shitting and then googled for a fuel station in Skull Valley. Non there.... Fuck. canned hams were running low and next station was 15 miles out of the way from the original planned route. Prescott was only a couple miles away to drop in and get fuel and i figured, if we were going that way, might as well hit Old Senator Highway and run that to Crown King, then drop down, slam i17 for a few miles and hit my house. So that was the route we did. Course, we had to take a group pic at the look out point




Them canned ham boys were lookin pretty damn cold after that little ride into the gas station. We filled up and hit the road. ran through down town Prescott and turned up OSH. that road is paved for 5-7 miles, then is graded dirt road to get back to cabins/homes back there. after about 10 miles, it turns to unmaintained road. We boogied along and made a stop at Palace Station where its apparently and old stop for wagon trails from Ck to Prescott. If you didnt know, Prescott was the original state capitol (actually a couple times) till it was changed finally phx in 1889. Old Senator Highway was a main route from phx to crown king to prescott. With a piss break done, we kept on. Its all tight windy mountain side roads to crown king. too tight to play drift car and the ruts from gayzers makes sliding impossible anyhow.

Our next stop was Crown King. we didnt really stop long at any stops as i knew Motiracer wanted to get back as he had a 7 hour drive. this current route was faster than my original route anyhow. Not to mention, i had my fill of dirt time. We took a quick break above CK and headed on down to the valley. Its all good graded road from here with high traffic. lots of call outs made about traffic on the radios and lots of decent people pulling over and letting us by. No dusting the fuck out of them for being assholes lmao. traffic got real bad by time we closed in on I17. guys with horse trailers going 3 mph, jeeps on a 10mph cruise, and trucks with gayzers on trailers comin in and leaving. We finally made it to Bumble Bee turn off (takes you back on to I17) and waited for everyone to catch up. We could have taken dirt the rest of the way to my house but i had fuel leaking from a vent hose, Midget Nate said his clutch wasnt happy and i was more than willing to just hit the highway back. We all did and got back to my place by 12:00pm. Midget Nate split off from us at New River rd to head back to his place since my house was the opposite direction.

In total, i calculated 560 miles round trip. it was an absolute fucking blast!! probably the most fun ive had on a trip in a loooong fucking time. Views were spectacular, people were sub par white trash assholes (only kind worth being with), the vehicles stood up to the run and i finally got to do the damn trip i have been wanting to do for over 4 years. i absolutely cant wait till the next time i run this. its one of those trips you are seeing new shit you missed and the roads dont kick your ass.

All of you fuckers that joined me out here, thanks for being apart of it. i couldnt have asked for a better group!!
Also, @dwphoto or @theycallmeWALLY do you guys have a way to see who has used the most profanity on the site? Like a virtual swear jar? That would be fucking hilarious, and I’m guessing @84projectFORD and I will podium for fucking sure…
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Also, @dwphoto or @theycallmeWALLY do you guys have a way to see who has used the most profanity on the site? Like a virtual swear jaw? That would be fucking hilarious, and I’m guessing @84projectFORD and I will podium for fucking sure…

Ha! now THAT would be a fucking awesome!

I was thinking that too. I dont remember the original write up being written by Fred Durst...

Listen slut, yore a fuckin mechanic, you know every fucking 3rd god damn word is a mother fuckin cuss word...
Also, @dwphoto or @theycallmeWALLY do you guys have a way to see who has used the most profanity on the site? Like a virtual swear jaw? That would be fucking hilarious, and I’m guessing @84projectFORD and I will podium for fucking sure…

Fuck... I think is jake....What if Switch Fuck to M.A.W.M.

thank 5.9-ounce baby jesus I censored that garbage. 👌